Thursday, March 27, 2008

WORDS OF THE DAY

heraus bombardiert und verbraucht = bombed out and depleted

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

SECRET WORD OF THE DAY//HEUTIGES GEHEIMES WORT

I have decided to make a new addition to the column. It is called word of the day.
The motive behind word of the day is to break down cultural misunderstandings, educate and bring all of us together. Also, if you come to visit me, these words might come in handy. I may also upon occasion put additional links, video or other info to help clarify the terminology. Good luck!




Today's Word(s):

Erbrechen = barf

kotze = puke

Monday, March 24, 2008

BROS?

I know I haven't seen you in a while, but you should have let me know you were coming to Berlin bro!  Can I have a job?

Mavis!  If Tosh doesn't give me a job, can I sell Azerbajanian long distance phone cards for you?

GET UP

Every spot on spare walls is home to someone's tag.  I think every city has a "blaze", and a "crazy".




HAMBURGER NO FRIES

The other day german photographer Wolfgang Tillmans opened his show "Lighter" at the Hamburger Bahnhof Museum, so we decided to go check it out.  We made our way to Hauptbahnhof, the closest station in relation to the museum.  The Hauptbahnhof is the largest two story train station in Europe--the name literally translates into 'main station'.  Needless to say, it's big.

  
From the station the museum is only a few minutes walk--the area is still fairly undeveloped, kind of barren, which is surprising since the most ambitious train station in Europe is built there.  Alot of empty lots, wide space and semi industrial space is in the area, however from the right vantage point at least of three of major Berlin's architectural landmarks are visible--The TV tower (which is usually visible), the Reichstag , and the Hauptbahnhof, not to mention the impressive Hamburger Bahnhof museum.

Front facade of the Hamburger.  

This is the entrance to the museum.  The Hamburger Bahnhof museum is situated in a building which was previously used as a train station before art was cooler than transportation.  I was actually just expecting to see the Tillmans' show, which was already overwhelming enough as it was, however I was informed that the museum presents private collections as well.  To keep it brief, it was shocking to just walk into a room and see work that you only knew existed on the pages of books.  I mean, don't get me wrong, I love our pig farms, mountains and dive bars, but it is something else to be able to go at any time to a place that you can see this stuff--Donald Judd in the first room, Cy Twombly in the next, Matthew Barney and Damien Hirst as well.  I was also surprised to see Jeff Wall, Stan Douglas, and Rodney Graham there too--I was like  I'm Canadian too--nnndeuuuud...Ya.  The most visceral room was inhabited by Joseph Beuys and some of his fat sculptures--just imagine big molded blocks of fat as big as a shed.  Even stranger than the sculptures is the security guard hired to watch the work--he just stands by the fat.  Waiting, looking for suspicious art gazers, terrorists, you know.  And the room smells like moldy fat.
This was the concourse that the Tillmans show was in--it was about half a km long with about 15 different rooms.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

ARTARTART

Wolfgang Tillmans @ the Hamburger Banhof museum


BERLIN


As you may or may not know, this is my first time traveling to Europe--Of course the first street I stumble across is the German Robson.



Naturally, after checking out the Robson Strasse scene I felt like I was in the mood for something a little bit more authentic.  After  a trip on the U-Bahn and a short walk I ended up at the Jewish memorial site.  There weren't any German punks, weiner vendors, or big salty pretzels, so after wandering through the labyrinth of sombre monoliths I decided to move on to the next spot.


On the left is an old church that hosts fancy concerts, and on the right is the pride of former communist East Germany, the Fernsehturm (TV Tower) also known as Alex.  This is where I saw a big group of scumbaggy looking skid punks drinking cheap beer with their dogs who looked excited about either doing nothing all day or talking about revolution while doing nothing all day.  I didn't see salty pretzels here either, and the beer toting shitstain gang made me feel like I should be doing the same as them--since I had already done something this day.


The brick line is where the Berlin wall was and apparently this line runs the entire course of the old perimeter.



Motorhead uber alles?

Friday, March 21, 2008

APRTMNT

So I arrived in Berlin on Wednesday at about 5pm/17:00 local time, which was almost a whole day after departing Vancouver.  Gripe wise;  O'Hare airport in Chicago is Massive--if you ever make connections from this place, be sure to get your travel agent to book you enough time to get from terminal to terminal--I had a four hour layover, and it took almost 3 hours to get from gate to gate including security;  United Airlines seats are small; Scandinavian Air Service only serves two complimentary drinks to economy passengers--however, the 'calibre' of service was 10/10 so i'll let it slide, since once I got to sleep (as opposed to passing out) I did have some nice lucid dreams; and they also forgot to transfer my bike from Copenhagen to Berlin, which turned out to be a blessing in disguise because it would have been a bitch taking a 69 lb. bag, a carry on and a four foot long bike box onto the train at rush hour once in Berlin.  This is a picture of my temporary room until the 1st of April.  Our apartment is quite centrally located in the neighborhood of Prenzlauer Berg

View kitchen wise.

GET GOIN ALREADY

YVR offers a "plethora" of food stuffs such as Tim Hortons, Starbucks, and A&W(which happened to be in the other terminal).  This sponge full of grease might not have been the best choice of diet before embarking upon a 20 hour journey in which at least 16 of those hours were spent crammed into an economy seat constantly drinking complimentary coffee.
Wings.
Copenhagen looking towards Malmo.  If you look close you can see the wind turbines in the distance.
After travelling to Europe via the US my opinion of travel has completely changed.  The US was the biggest headache to get through--I suppose by now, all of us in North America take it for granted that to travel you must expect the usual customs at the borders.  Shoes off, open bags, pat down--and definite scrutiny if your skin colour is any darker than a peach.  The EU standard, as far as Denmark and Germany , is much more relaxed, and the Customs officers are cute girls with accents.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

FINAL DAYS

Investing(wasting) hours of (our lives) time perfecting this device in the spirit of science, technology, design and to generally make the world a scummier place.  
Umm, ya.  This is not in Germany.
Uhhh, ya. Neither is this.
If Frank Stella and Bill Reid date raped Carla from Cheers on top of a totem pole and the outcome was a vehicle, this would be it.

Keyboards and vocalsss...uh...not in Berlin.

MAN OF MANY FACES

Bong Wang.


Rib Dick.  Ladies can't keep their eyes of Big Z.

Saturday, March 8, 2008

METAL FACE BERZERKER



Olov! Metal!

BERZERKER PARTY

BERZERKER JAMS




Fuck Norway, and Fuck Black Metal. Seriously--those dudes are the biggest pussies ever. How cool is it to dress up like elves and prance around threatening to burn churches? Wait, I'll answer that question--not at all cool. Oh, so the baddest thing you did was find your dead band mate, make stew with his brain, and make some cute jewelry with fragments of his skull? Whateves! Try to write a song while you are in the blistering heat of Tatoonie, while riding on the back of a Bantha. That is berzerker.

Friday, March 7, 2008

THE BLOG RACE

KOREANS: 65


BEER DRINKERS: 56

ROCKY'S: 18


Thursday, March 6, 2008

THE HIDAWAY MARCH 12


Multiple Choice:

This Wednesday come and check out one of the following at the Alibi Room:

a) A free punch in the face.

b) Wet t-shirt contest, hosted by Corey Haim and Hulk Hogan.

c) Live jams from The Hideaway Jug Band!!!  and a really crappy but fun set with real records with El Scumador and dj shitty!!!...and much much more!!! with no cover from 9-12 at the Alibi Room on 157 Alexander St. located in Vancouver, BC, Canada.

d)  a live performance of U'r dead 2 me

Promotional poster to follow.

Monday, March 3, 2008

CRUNCHATOR, PRIMATOR. PRIMATOR, CRUNCHATOR.


For the sake of a friend I recently visited the Primator Brewery in Nachod, Czech Republic.  I didn't ask about what the name means, however I took it upon myself to assume that it could be broken down as follows:
Prima=# 1
+
Tor=to smash, dominate, or rule--in a "in your faceee!" way.

 


Picturesque Nachod.


Document of stuff,  in perfect cursive.



Inges, Czverik, Milos , and Ctirad.

...HAHN?



Despite the results from the pole being in with a landslide victory for "Hnyaaaa!", I think this little anthropological artifact could help us learn a bit about ourselves.  Or perhaps you just need to relax, take a deep breath, and enjoy a nice big glass of Hahn.  Hynaaaa.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

BANANAS!!!

Bananas!  Check 'em out!  Don't think that you are too good for this monkey fruit, because you aren't.  Chock full of goodness, bananas will have you healthy as a horse in no time.  Bananas, good, and good for you.


Check out the focus power of bananas.  FOCUS!!!


New York street banana culture.